Before I get too far into my blog…. would ya’ll do me a favor? If you have kids would you please read my story to them and let me know their reaction? You’ll get a thousand bonus points! Thanks!
Archive for August, 2007
Over the last months I’ve torn down walls and rebuilt better, healthier boundaries for me and for my family. Some of those boundaries are rock solid, others are still under construction. Some have remained where they have been and some of them have been adjusted and re-adjusted.
On more than one occassion I feel like I have stood behind a boundary while someone has been on the other side banging their head against it. It hasn’t been easy watching those that I love adjust to the new boundaries. They no longer get to eat my cake that for years I was so willing to offer up. They’re used to me being a familiar shape and now I no longer fit in their mold and they’re puzzled and upset.
Yesterday things were said, feelings were hurt, apologies were offered but mends were not made. And now she’s gone.
I don’t know how to apologize for doing what I needed to do. I can’t explain the concept of a healthy boundary to someone I’ve been so co-dependent with for so long. I want to shout “Look at me! I am my own person. I am not the mirror I thought I had to be.”
Hallmark needs to make a card that says “I’m sorry you’re hurt by my boundary. Maybe it would help if you stopped running full tilt into it.”
I’m working on a blog in the back of my mind. It’s on a topic that I’ve struggled with over the years and it’s something I’d like to hear what you all think about it. I’ve been on crosswalk.com doing research and I’ve been praying about it. Today I even got to experience it first hand (yet again). But this time I was very aware of the roles being played. Interesting.
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In other news, my birthday is in a couple of days. I already have a hard time keeping track of how old I am, this isn’t going to help. As far as I know there isn’t anything special planned. My mom made me buy a cake mix today. It’s more for the kids than for me though.
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Ok, that thing I mentioned in the first paragraph…. yeah, still not ready to blog about it but it just reared its ugly head again and now I don’t feel much like blogging anything. I think I’ll get a book and go curl up in bed.
Sorry for the interruption. We will now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
I feel old. Not old like “I have wrinkles and grey hair” kind of old. Just old. Maybe older would be a better way to put it.
When you’re younger you look at your parents and think they are invincible. They’re never going to age, they’re never going to get sick, they’re never going to die. My parents certainly seemed to fit that mold. They’ve always been very active. I used to give my mom a hard time; telling her she needed to learn how to have a weekend. There was no sleeping in and no idle moments during the weekend. There was always housework to do, yarkwork to do and various other chores on the list.
Since we’ve moved my mom has had an increase in her back and hip pains. I knew she’d been seeing various doctors and taking strong painkillers. But none of that really hit home until I saw her getting off of the plane. Our airport is on the smaller side so passengers deplane on the tarmac and walk up a flight of stairs to the gate. We saw her at the bottom of the plane waving and smiling. She stood there with a cane. I thought, “Oh, that’s right. She needs that occassionally.” She disappeared out of our view. We waited and waited. Long after all the other passengers came inside and met their families we still stood and waited. Finally we saw her being pushed down the hallway in a wheelchair. Sitting cramped on a plane exacerbated her back and hip and she needed a little extra help.
Something about seeing her like that made me realize our roles are slowly switching. My parents are slowing down. They aren’t the immortal superheroes I once thought they were. I’m not the dependent child I once was either. I am an adult.
I apologize for the lack of a post yesterday. We had a crazy storm blow in and, as protocol, we lost power. I’m starting to wonder what exactly are our power lines made out of here? And what is holding them up? If we get some wind and a little rain *POOF* - power goes out. Which sets of a chain reaction after the power comes back up. Heaven forbid that the cable work after the powers been out. I think it sees the power outtage as nap time. The t.v. cable will usually come back first and it will have an odd flicker to it. Eventually the phone and internet will decide to shake off the slumber and join the t.v. in functioning. And if we really have a whopper of a storm…. we get to repeat all that.
Yesterday’s storm was pretty strong but it was short lived. It headed north and screwed up airline travel for awhile. My mom was on her way here and was stuck on the tarmac in Atlanta for an hour and a half. The plane from there to here is one of those little prop jobs with the tiny seats. Poor Mom. She arrived safely (finally!). The kids had been counting the hours until her arrival and had prepared a birthday surprise for her - complete with the little one singing her own version of the birthday song.
I have more to tell you about my reaction to seeing my mom yesterday but that’s going to have to wait until tomorrow’s post. It’s 9 a.m. and everyone is still asleep. I have the whole house to myself and I plan on enjoying a cup of coffee while watching the rain.
God did a pretty incredible job in creating the human body. It’s marvelous how smoothly it operates. Amazing really.
Not only was the body created for perfection in Eden it was designed to withstand the rigors of life in a sinful world. Obviously we can (and do) do things that prove irreversable or fatal. But considering everything that’s thrown at us it’s pretty amazing how well our bodies hold up. We can stretch and shrink and heal and absorb and filter. Amazing.
But you just have to wonder what’s going on with some of these organs. We’re all kind of puzzled with the appendix. Then there are things like tonsils and gallbladders that do serve a purpose but aren’t required to sustain life. And what is up with pinky toes?! I think their only purpose is to work as a bumper for our foot.
I smashed my toe today. I’m pretty sure it isn’t broken but it sure does hurt like a son-of-a-gun. <side note: you really need to look up son-of-a-gun on wikipedia. it will pay off in trivial pursuit.> It’s a wonder they don’t amputate your pinky toes at birth and replace them with a little bit of rubber. It would save on pain in later years and might even stop some people from taking the Lord’s name in vain!
We’re having another Love Sunday!!!
When we moved we went from a nice big walk-in closet to a tiny little closet. I admit that I have a lot of clothes. There was no way that all of our clothing was going to fit in that tiny closet. Which meant that our bedroom has had a bag of clothes, a box of shoes and a few laundry baskets full of clothes cluttering up the room. The space between our son’s room and our bedroom is all closet; half was our closet, half was his. And the whole thing is made out of wood.
We decided to steal his closet.
Bwah, ha, ha, haaaaa! No, we’re not evil. He actually had two closets in his room. He’s a small boy. He doesn’t need two closets. I do.
My wonderful hubby figured out that he could take off the wall on our side (the back of my son’s closet), trim it down, and nail it back on the other side. Effectively stealing the closet. Of course once he took the wall off he realized there was no getting it out of the bedroom because it was too big. We made quite a sight (and a mess) cutting it inside my son’s room. My hubby used the saw while I used the vacuum!
We also realized there was wasted space behind our door. There was enough scrap wood to build matching shelves. Now we have two closets and three new shelves. And the best part is… the only money we spent was for a pack of screws!
(you can click on the pictures to see them bigger) The closet on the right is the original master bedroom closet. (See how tiny it is?!) The closet in the middle is the stolen closet. The new shelves are on the left. Eventually we’ll hang curtains to hide it all but for now - it’s wonderful!!
And the rest of the room is now clutter free!
…we’re rednecks!
I just looked out the window and our three year old is running around outside without shoes or pants.
I’m learning quite a bit about Virginia - or at least this corner of it. I expected to be greeted with heavy accents. Sadly, not too many people I’ve met have a Southern drawl. Drivers are very polite and patient on the road. They don’t have many “suicide lanes” here so people turning left stop traffic. No one get impatient and honks or swerves around in a fit of anger. And blinkers here really do work… Trying to merge? Put on your blinker and THEY LET YOU IN. I’ve also learned that they don’t lock up their spray paint in stores. Looking around town I’d be hardpressed to find any graffiti though. I love that just about everyone is friendly. People will stop to chat with you in the middle of the produce department or the parking lot. Of course my kids still have AZ blood in their veins and they just stare at the person trying to figure out why the heck this person is talking to them.
I’m sure there’s a darker side to this town but since we’re still in our honeymoon phase we have yet to see it. I’m glad that we moved and I’m glad that we’re learning a new way of life. I’m so thankful that God has blessed us through this entire experience. I can only imagine what our future holds for our family here.
